Last month, my mom ended up unexpectedly in the hospital. It was a rollercoaster of all the Greatest Hits of the American Medical System, including supporting the Residents striking in the hour before Mom was due for surgery, because they're paid too little and work too many hours. No joke.
But this is a cybersecurity newsletter, so let's talk about the part I actually know something about. As I went through this process, I wanted to help prepare anyone else who might go through a similar thing. You think the annual ritual of "fixing a few things" around Thanksgiving is rough for the average tech person? This is rougher.
And by the way, Mom's out and doing fine, thanks for asking!
Let's get to it.
Part 2: The Fourth Circle of Hell: Spam
I spent an hour or two or five every day with Mom as she recovered, or waiting for her outside the operating room, or just sitting there while she napped. As much as there were moments of intense activity, there were also moments of quiet. In those moments, I'd often grab Mom's phone and start wading through her email to make sure she wasn't missing something important, or through her texts, for the same reason.
The amount of spam in there was absolutely catastrophic.
Apparently, one political donation, and you're on every spam list across the entire country. We'll get into how disgusting it is that candidates are trying to manipulate people on fixed incomes out of their cash some other time. For right now, what all the spam did was make it harder for me to sort the actionable from the ignorable. And when you've got a person facing a critical health challenge, you simply don't have the spoons to make those choices. More than once I put the phone back down and closed my eyes too, because I just. freakin'. couldn't. A crisis combined with caregiving depletes your neurochemistry in ways you can't foresee, and unless things are really simple and straightforward, you're going to miss things because you're depleted.
So let's clean things up ahead of time.
Remove your person's phone number from lists
According to our friends from LegalClarity:
Registering your phone number on the National Do Not Call Registry at donotcall.gov is the single most effective first step to reduce spam calls, and it's free. But that registry only stops legitimate telemarketers. Cutting spam down to a manageable level takes a combination of federal registration, phone settings, carrier-level filtering, opt-out requests, and data broker removal. None of these steps works perfectly alone, but layered together they make a real difference.
The layering bit is really, really important. There is no off switch, there is no set-and-forget. Make this part of your monthly routine. The Do Not Call Registry is a great place to start, and then keep going with one of our recommended lists.
While this is a start, it's a two-part process — you also have to stop putting your data in things to begin with. Flag their accounts, and then when you have more time, start transferring:
From their real email address, to an alias.
From regular unmasked credit card numbers, to masked credit card numbers. Many cards offer this; Capital One's system is fantastic.
From the actual phone number, to a masked number. I get mine from DeleteMe, but there are other ways to go about it.
Stop replying to texts with STOP
If you're dealing with a legit organization, the STOP reply text works. But! If you're not, it tells spammers they've reached a real, responsive number — and that's the trigger for scams to come flooding in.
Instead, block the incoming spam number.
Not gonna lie; blocking spammers is very satisfying while you're waiting for test results or whatever.
Update your person's passwords
A lot of people are still using combinations of birthdays and grandchildren's initials to "protect" their accounts. If you have access to your person's password manager, now is a fabulous time to update their passwords to meet current standards. And while you're at it …
2FA everywhere
You may need to help your person with this when they get out and get back up to speed, but now's as good a time as ever to implement 2FA everywhere that it can be. And as I mentioned in the first article in this series, make sure your number is on every account as a backup, so you can handle verification requests from your own phone and not theirs.
Signs (of the apocalypse)
You need to stay alert across all media for signs that your person's identity has been stolen. If you're still drowning in the torrent of unsolicited spam texts, calls, and emails that most of us are, it's much, much harder to pick up the signs.
Clear the spam now, so future-you has one less thing fighting for your attention later.
Next issue:
Digital finance hygiene for your person while they're in the hospital. Because bills don't pause for surgery.
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